have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize