Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize