You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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