i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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