Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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