its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
