I need help removing her.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
