you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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