He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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