Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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