I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
