I wanna bring you to show and tell
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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