I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
