We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
