Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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