I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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