i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
