"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
