Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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