So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
