why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
