Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Two words: blizzard sex
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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