He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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