She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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