Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
