in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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