And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
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Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize