its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
