How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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