I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize