I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
