dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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