I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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