Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
