Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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