Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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