Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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