their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
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You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
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Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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