with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
