i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
