God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The air taste purple.
Randomize
