'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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