Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
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the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...