She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?