He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.