Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.

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(760): I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs. http://tfl.nu/67s4

Replies (57) Good night (21190) Bad night (1581)
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(214): View more from Texas

I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process

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(214): I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process http://tfl.nu/ph4s

Replies (10) Good night (635) Bad night (4724)
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(703): View more from Virginia

why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?

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(703): why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall? http://tfl.nu/4ssb

Replies (14) Good night (2235) Bad night (830)
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(214): View more from Texas

I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.

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(214): I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution. http://tfl.nu/bahd

Replies (12) Good night (707) Bad night (3964)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.

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(321): Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right. http://tfl.nu/ehig

Replies (12) Good night (9968) Bad night (1141)
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(443): View more from Maryland

WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock

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(443): WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock http://tfl.nu/0ctc

Replies (4) Good night (3688) Bad night (1050)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?

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(814): Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects? http://tfl.nu/389h

Replies (35) Good night (2393) Bad night (911)
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(914): View more from New York

Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.

(1-914): View more from New York

You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.

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(914): Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county. (1-914): You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/15gl

Replies (3) Good night (2122) Bad night (703)
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(416): View more from Toronto

How did it go last night?

(647): View more from Ontario

Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?

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(416): How did it go last night? (647): Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad? http://tfl.nu/bq72

Replies (6) Good night (1363) Bad night (1480)
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(607): View more from New York

The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.

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(607): The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude. http://tfl.nu/ttzr

Replies (8) Good night (1472) Bad night (728)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.

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(919): so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow... (1-919): I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that. http://tfl.nu/ee0c

Replies (0) Good night (1879) Bad night (495)
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(801): View more from Utah

I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.

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(801): I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird. http://tfl.nu/5cem

Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (833)
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(360): View more from Washington

Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.

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(360): Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum. http://tfl.nu/7kvh

Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (491)
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(913): View more from Kansas

She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.

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(913): She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor. http://tfl.nu/4jux

Replies (1) Good night (643) Bad night (255)
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(916): View more from California

He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.

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(916): He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying. http://tfl.nu/67jj

Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (325)

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