Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.

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  (518): after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date. http://tfl.nu/xryi
  Replies (43) Good night (8184) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.

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  (703): I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like. http://tfl.nu/tgx7
  Replies (33) Good night (1147) Bad night (2722)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  well most of my day revolves around power hour

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  (856): well most of my day revolves around power hour http://tfl.nu/z7v2
  Replies (6) Good night (3255) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly

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  (443): She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly http://tfl.nu/4li6
  Replies (15) Good night (3763) Bad night (1376)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".

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  (205): That's why they call him "the cheesegrater". http://tfl.nu/ctav
  Replies (6) Good night (798) Bad night (3596)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..

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  (541): just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony.. http://tfl.nu/riwy
  Replies (5) Good night (4668) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

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  (815): She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode. http://tfl.nu/19jg
  Replies (6) Good night (1237) Bad night (2972)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.

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  (740): Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed. http://tfl.nu/6s1t
  Replies (5) Good night (2370) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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  (312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv
  Replies (3) Good night (1784) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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  (713): That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me. http://tfl.nu/mvmi
  Replies (8) Good night (2286) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa

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  (706): It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa http://tfl.nu/ahu3
  Replies (7) Good night (2148) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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  (573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa
  Replies (12) Good night (1575) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know

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  (413): styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know http://tfl.nu/4o79
  Replies (9) Good night (1265) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.

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  (517): Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals. http://tfl.nu/q6vr
  Replies (12) Good night (987) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost

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  (775): Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost http://tfl.nu/neal
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (274)

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