In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dating After Heartbreak
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot