I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
