And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
