i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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