We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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