i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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