I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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