Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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