I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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