I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
