dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize