Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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