Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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