There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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